what did i do wrong to deserve this pain

Over time my repressed anger really decreased and I felt much better. I don't know how to. You are a miracle of life that is both an utterly unique individual and part of a far greater whole. Please keep me posted. I do need him to be an adult and I do need him to show up. My therapist told me today to focus on what is going rightits hard when depression tries to make us see everything as wrong but I think its a good practice to try. Ruin his life. But very few are taking new patients. You are only on this earth for a short time and you mustnt spend a single moment in the belief that pain is all that you can expect. Healing from depression isn't like other illnesses. You are both inspirational to me. The bupropion is there to boost the dextromethorphan and make it stay longer in your system. To me anger was rage but there are varying degrees of anger without rage. And what did he do to deserve such pain and suffering. I started calling the hospitals. You are a good person. In fact, as long as you maintain the belief that this pain is somehow right, you are likely to overlook any meaning that might be gained. I just want to get better. Its more convenient than in-person therapy and is more affordable in a lot of cases. I don't want to sound selfish, but it's really hard for me when he does that. You dont question the reasoning behind the pain, preferring to consider it your fate in life. And you get access to the same level of qualified and experienced professional. | A disciple's study. It's barely been a week. He said 5mg is better than nothing and just keep taking it. I had some luck with Ketamine. I don't expect an answer really. I fell victim to the reality of original sin. Thank you in advance. I pray and practice Zen Buddhism.I go to online NAMI Groups. Questions like this one: The typical Reformed/Calvinist response to this question is to answer with another, A better question is, what have you ever done to deserve anything good? This question is meant to bring the one suffering to reflect on the seriousness of our sin, the unimpeachable holiness of God, and that any good we experience is the result of sheer undeserved and unmerited grace, whether common or saving. I'm looking into facilities/programs just in case Lexapro fails. Would you share the name & location of the place in Florida? The #1 Post Learning To Be Full Of Grace And Truth. I've been suffering trying to find a medication that works too. Everyone was floored and the therapist said Well, lucky you!. So frustrating to have to figure this out when it's hard just to breathe and get out of bed. This time feels different than the last time we broke up and I am really struggling because I still love him. Just started fetzima. Why has God stopped caring forme? Ever read the Psalms? Think of it like when they tell you to put on your mask before anyone else's on an airplane. A therapist is often the best person you can talk to. I hear you, thanks for your very kind post. God is just, there is no double jeopardy, He cannot punish for sin twice. I know you said you tried everything, but one thing I have just started (in addition to my meds and yoga and audiovisual entrainment - I use the DAVID from mindalive.com/collections/a is acupuncture. "What did I do to deserve this?" she asks in puzzled wonderment. Walking beside the suffering, listening without speaking and a simple hug are powerful! The rescue crew who pulled me off that ledge and who happened to be training for traumatic falls that same day nearby.. Theologically, I fully agree with the facts of the depravity of our fallen nature and the utter sinfulness of our heart, soul, and mind. Where was my mistake? Six months we got into an argument, and spent some time apart (2 weeks) to cool down and think about things. I asked my therapist about emdr, but you have to be stable first. Sure it would be tough to be away from home, but its tough just functioning right now and this might give you a chance for a better life when you get back. Fact is: Only God knows. His love still protects me as I make sense of the senseless. Tell them that there was nothing that singled them out to experience such evil at the hands of men or nature. It is great advice and i believe you really need to go, you have nothing to lose by going away and try to get help. hi there, sorry for your heartache, I think rare candy has said exactly what i was thinking. I also found just writing out the anger and venting it helped me, just get in touch with it don't worry about editing it or what it looks like, etc.. and just vent. So far so good. I really want to go to the ER right now, but ive been hospitalized once and I know that's not going to help me. As much as your son doesn't want you go, I would highly consider the rehab in FL. Marya Hornbacher. I did not even realize what I was doing. (LogOut/ Look for the signs of gracecommon and savingand show them how God is with them in this time. It sounds like this person is lazy and wants to get rid of you to make their life easier , you need to show them its going to make it harder trying to get rid of them or just look for another job. Amen he heard them all. (Japanese: , Hepburn: Ysha no Kuse ni Namaiki da) is a real-time strategy game for the PlayStation Portable.The game centers on creating mazes and monsters to help defend a demon lord from heroes seeking to capture him. Yes, pain can teach us many things and help us grow as individuals, but only when it comes as a natural consequence of life. How To Fight Your Demons (A Better Way Of Looking At It), How To Stop Making Assumptions: 8 Highly Effective Tips, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. I am humbled by your kind words. Tell him its an adventure and you need him to be strong for you. I heard For some reason once you leave something and go back it never works the same. Pain does happen - it may be a benign consequence of chance, the result of our own choices, or down to the actions (malevolent or otherwise) of third parties. Although the 1st time I was transported for my Type 1, I was ordered by my battalion chief so I couldn't disobey his order. It could save your life. Her prognosis was definitely poor, but her ability to cope with the situation did not appear to be much better and her psychological, social, and financial situation did not seem to offer her the opportunity to embark on a reflective spiritual journey. So I really feel for you. I got tired of not having any joy, the emotional blunting and emotional paralysis. Nothing. Sounds like an opportunity to . It took me a long time to admit it and allow myself to get in touch with it and start to feel safe processing it. His hands that day singled me out to be saved. The doctors when the placed me in intensive care told my parents days was all I had. I fully agree with the fact that God is absolutely holy and therefore cannot take part in, harbor, or ignore sin; He must punish it wherever He finds it. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. This may apply to you or not but it couldn't hurt. This is especially useful in all the little moral nuances of daily life. What did I do to deserve this. I promised my son a long time ago I would always be here for him and that's what's keeping me alive, barely. My doctor was at a loss but I started drugs againover and over. Yes, your son will miss you. If he did that to you, then he's not the man of your dreams. Nothing works. He loves you because you are a loving father. They can guide you and help you to see that you dont deserve pain, no matter what you may have done in the past. I speak at local churches on a regular basis and have authored three books, all available on Amazon. .. 7 , Article: KEYS TO EXPERIENCE JOY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP | JACOB VARGHESE, Article: Life Lesson From a Potter | Jerrin Jacob, Article: WHATS IN A NAME? Maybe this is just my life and I need to just accept it. I've been back and forth between the crisis center and ED both not really helpful. I want to be the one to raise him. I actually am going off fetzima. you dont deserve this and most things in the world just happen and have nothing to do if you deserve it or not. I love this series!! Amen sister amen. I don't know to do, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. What did I do wrong? Feeling bad about something you regret doing is natural and healthy, it is how we learn where our moral boundaries are. I'm glad you did research on inpatient facilities. He says it a lot, and that he loves me. It's like no one knows how to help. and Charitable Trust. In truth, you like the pain. Barely functioning and the professionals don't know what else to do. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Thank you for this post. Id vote for a positive action rather than waiting for a feeling to get better. What did I do wrong I can't take it anymore I am a good person so what the fuck did I do to deserve all this suffering and pain I've heard a lot about Auvelity myself and am curious to see how it works for you. So I chose to go off. Thanks. I'm just so tired. Showed meds I had been on that should work and didn't, showed meds I was on and shouldn't work but did. All the days Ive struggled his patience sees me to another day. I am going to have to go away. This has been going on for way to long and lives are at stake. I took my first dose today. This is amazing! I'm sure that there is a medical term for it and I'm sure there are many shrinks that think . : .. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. Do not let it go to waste in the false belief that your life deserves to be full of pain and punishment. Have you talked about it with her? I can't leave my son or wife. Cherish the gift of pure existence that we have all been given and for which we must all take responsibility. Nothing shy of sheer divine intervention saved me. Sample of a GeneSight report. I have nothing. I had no idea that it was fueling my anxiety and depression. I've been in and out of the hospital a total of 8 times, 5 times for my PTSD, transported there by EMS. Elsewhere (here and here) I have addressed the thought that just because something is true, does not make it the right truth to share at that moment. I don't know what to do. They take insurance. Im so sorry my friend. It was a matter of poor choices of others and natural evil (i.e. My son, who's 12 really doesn't want me to go he's always saying I can't be without my daddy. “I Feel Like I Don’t Exist” (Reasons Why + What To Do), When Self-Deprecating Humor Becomes Harmful, How To Stop Making Rash Decisions: 15 Highly Effective Tips, 11 Ways To Ease Adulting Anxiety And Beat The Fear Of Growing Up, “I Don’t Feel Anything” Reasons Why + 8 Things To Do About It, 8 Reasons Why You Feel Fake (+ How Not To). I smile simply in the watching her. What Did I Do to Deserve This, My Lord? If its at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward. Then riddle me this why did I land on the ledge just three feet wide, I bounced at least once I was conscious then. I'm in couples therapy with my wife because she's been so unhappy for so long. I sure hope you were. I started working on allowing myself to feel the anger and focus on my perpetrator, direct it at them and beat the crap out of a pillow in therapy, venting it and releasing it. It felt great and empowering. He had no part in my rape nor suicide attempt nor cutting nor suffering except that he was there holding me and loving me the entire time. Then I was there once because of a really bad anxiety attack, and they sent me home. I tried acupuncture and noticed an improvement. It means a lot. A good place to get professional help is the website BetterHelp.com here, youll be able to connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message. Your son needs you so much. My insurance paid for mine. These are facts plainly attested to throughout Scripture and are therefore, to me, beyond dispute. It was that experience God used to open my eyes to His sovereign love for me. Not yet. To not live in the same house with him would devastate me. Please read my response again. When I was a teenager a friend of mine and I went into Boston for the day. The only one place where we find a direct response from God is in John Chapter 9:2&3 His disciples asked him, Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Neither this man nor his parents sinned, said Jesus, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. And while we go through that suffering as Christians, we have this comfort in knowing that all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Rom 8:28). These more often serve to separate us from the person who is suffering than encourage us to mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). 2. Jesus too, while on the cross, after enduring all the pain cried out My God, why have you forsaken me? (Matt 27:46). Don't get me wrong, I love it and it makes me feel special and loved, but I really don't want to be here. And same is the case of all the great men, in the Bible. Kraisthava Ezhuthupura is licenced under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 international License. Thank you so much for this wisdom! When one is in great pain, you know one cannot feel any blessing quite as it may deserve. But thats not what were talking about here. Job? You may already be gone. God is great, waves are good and people are crazy! Why isnt God answering my prayers to rescue me from this suffering? Now I'm at 1/2 a pill, 5mg and holding until I can tolerate it without side effects. . I honestly don't know. It's horrible. About a year a go i had to break up with my boyfriend because he treated me wrong. When I was mugged my friend and I were singled out by God to be shown protective grace. I don't care about anything I used to. Fucker didn't work. Great post! I need a back up plan. You are not destined to suffer; there is no malevolent force bringing misery to your doorstep. Yes pastor Dan I can reply even from the beach between sets. It sounds like you are worried about going to Florida due to being away from him? I'm not sure if depression is from repressed anger or not, but how do see the value in the visceral actions. , : | . Whether its checking yourself into the treatment program in Florida, or hoisting yourself out of bed with every ounce of strength you have. Mine wasn't accurate at all either. There's a residential treatment center in Florida. Dumbest thing I ever did. Jane Austen. I was never Suicidal. God doesnt punish sin twiceall paid for! Personally, I am learning to live for God through Christ in such a way that I am full of grace and truth (John 1:14). All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, Why You Are Wrong To Believe You Deserve To Feel Pain, Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you if you feel like you deserve to suffer. I don't know to do, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. I fully agree that any good we experience is only the result of Gods common and/or saving grace. But the last session didn't work. I'm not. And that very soon, well be in the arms of our loving father where He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Rev 21:4). He actually apologized. The truth is that every person is made in God's image, loved by God, full of potential and wonderfully made. Nice of you to ask. I'm really not functioning at a sustainable level. Im sorry. From my physical near death appearance to the officer who stopped and found me. But you are no more deserving of pain and hurt than anyone else. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); After thirteen years as a pastor in New England, I am currently working as a retail tobacconist, manage the pipe and pipe tobacco section at New England's premiere cigar bar, Twins Smoke Shop, and host the "Not Just Blowing Smoke" podcast. But I'm not getting any relief. I'm very mature for my age as i'm always cooking and cleaning . Then I'll go to 2 pills which is the full dose. Thank you, glad you liked it. I didn't think it was all that accurate. I'm afraid to even say that out loud, I don't want to wake the beast! Mine wasn't accurate at all and my insurance at the time didn't cover it but I didn't find out until after the fact. The book "The body keeps the score" verifies this. Going into it lately. When dealing with my pain, there are the times when the pain is great, almost too much for me to handle that I think to myself, I deserve this pain, it is my punishment for something. It will kill him. I am an easy going and fun loving guy who is totally in love with my wife Mandi and the proud father to my three girls. 2022. I do DBT with my therapist twice a week. Website powered by: You cannot print contents of this website. But God heard every prayer and rescued me when I did not even realize that I needed it by then. Simply, How To Stop Feeling Guilty For Past Mistakes And Things Youve Done Wrong, 8 Easy Ways To Stop Negative Thoughts From Entering Your Mind, Say These 6 Positive Affirmations Daily To Build Self-Esteem And Confidence, To Grow Your Self-Esteem Over Time, Do These 10 Small Things Regularly, How To Finally Beat Feelings Of Worthlessness. Hi Josh, so sorry you are going through this. It's easy to try to rationalize and try to solve our problems intellectually because that way we don't have to actually feel all of the traumatic difficult emotions and deal with them. What did I do wrong to deserve this? The only reason this question is asked is when there is no discernable connection between choices we have made and the circumstances of our suffering. Why has God stopped caring for me? If you are a born-again Christian, then God dwells in you so that you can know right and wrong. Your soul is getting a fulfillment you can't fathom through this pain. I tried lexapro again. He'd been planning this for quite awhile, most likely cheating on you with this woman. You are trying. Have you felt pain and believed that it was warranted? He was 16 when we first got together. No one is in a position to have an expectation of "good.". English Article:What did I do wrong to deserve this pain and suffering? I guess I would still vote for something like the long term treatment program in Florida. I'm in so much pain for so long (20-25 years, the last year and half extremely suicidal), that I just want to end it all. I'm only taking one pill as I taper off the Trintellix. I fell victim to the reality of original sin. And the compassionate grace of what shows through. You deserve to feel better than this and it can happen. If she feels like me, any thoughts about leaving are NOT because she doesnt want you around. At the same time, we all make bad decisions, fail, and rebel. What did we do wrong to deserve that? I find this through meditation practice. Love both of you, Michelle and Pastor Dan. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez leaves after speaking to abortion-rights activists in front of the U.S. Supreme Court after the Court announced a ruling in the Dobbs v. Jackson Women's . The fellow EMTs that picked me up told me "You could've signed a refusal" and I said "true, but you don't argue with a battalion chief." He did so multiple times that day. As a smoker with 30 years of "experience" smoking 2 packs a day, I have tried quitting countless times. Then she looks up at me again and her brow furrows. In a world where people are fallen and bent towards evil, we will inevitably fall victim to the harmful choices of others that we had nothing to do with. One more thought You aren't an effective father unless you take care of yourself. The lowest point in my search for the Holy Grail of quitting methods was when I visited a shady local . Mine for not being here, the trauma of my 12 year old son and the heartbreak of my wife. What did I do to deserve all of this pain? It won't matter how I answer this question I suspect y. Keep trudging along for your family until something pops up that helps you. I promised my 12 year old son and my wife I'd get better. Im sure it will be the hardest thing for you to do, but please do SOMETHING to stay here, for yourself and your family. So, regardless of how you take all of this, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. Constantly remind yourself of the wonder that can be found in this world if you are prepared to look for it. Published at the web's largest poetry site. But I also promised him I'd be around. I don't really want to die, I want to save my marriage and raise my son. #301Harrisburg, PA 17112(Please do not send anything perishable) https://www.facebook.com/NikocadoAvocado https://www.twitter.com/NikocadoAvocado https://www.instagram.com/NikocadoAvocado https://www.younow.com/NikocadoAvocado Snapchat: NikocadoAvocado Orlin's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/OmaDesalasOrlin Donate with Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/NikocadoAvocado Donate with PayPal: NikocadoAvocado@gmail.com His wisdom will eventually sink into my think skull and his patience will see it so. Why do you say it does not work for you? I am in so much pain,so overwhelmed, scared, and just can't live like this anymore, help! I can understand not wanting to leave your son, but I don't see it as breaking a promise, I more so see it as going to get help so that you can be an even better father to him, better than you are now. My Dr. And I decided I needed to detox my system and clean everything out and then decide what to do. So sorry you haven't found the right formula. He seemed to be, but he definitely didn't wake up one day and decide to ghost you. ", talking about the state you in - hopefully helps but do use us and Samaritans or psychiatrist and they more professional. To view profiles and participate in discussions please. Did yours look like this. I had to start by cutting 10mg pill into quarters for 8 days just to be able to tolerate it. Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment. hi Josh. Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked. Don't give up. I am in your wifes shoes and my boyfriend is like you. What did I do wrong? Loved your response to Joshgw. Dense-Alternative249 144 2021-11-15 02:57:30 . He cried out to you and you finally heard him. If not GeneSite, there are others. I took a GeneSite test. If it does not, then whatever is wrong is something else all together. Best of luck and hope you do whats best for you and your family.. Amen. Please enjoy my Popeyes eating show today! So far, each treatment gives me a few days of real improvement, and I'm going weekly to build on that. It is important to let our Christian brothers and sisters know that in such cases as these, these types of circumstances are not the result of being singled out by God for divine retribution. Yesterday I started a series of posts prompted by everyones favorite pastoral question: Why is this happening to me? It is a very honest question when we are suffering, and it is perfectly fine and appropriate to ask. How long have you been on lexapro. I don't really want to die, I want to save my marriage and raise my son. We lost everything we had accept the pajamas we were wearing. I found somatic therapy helpful and emdr very helpful for healing my childhood trauma/c-ptsd. | Roykollaka, India, .. . , 2022: 12 , , , ( 67) , , , , , , : , 2 , : , : | . I know I'm supposed to be strong but I don't know if I can be. If this program has a chance to help you, you should go. Kind of feel like the hulk Perhaps I need to get a punching bag and see if I can explode for a while. Right now I really want to go to the ER, but I also know that won't help me. What more can I do. Sorry to hear to are still not doing well. I have been going through similar symptoms for years. I'm being punished for something I did or didn't do recently. I need to show my wife I can be a bigger partner but I feel myself slipping into the abyss. While we were walking down the street, we were jumped from behind and attacked by a gang (apparently because I looked similar to a member of a rival gang). When does that ever happen? Hope your night is at least a tiny bit better than yesterday. If a marriage has gone down the shitter, and one . You must do what is best for you and your family. Answer (1 of 4): I don't know who told you Love is the key to LIFE!!! Right now it's a real struggle. Writing it has actually been rather therapeutic for me, and it feels good to get all of these thoughts out of my head. If anyone reading this knows of a good inpatient program, please respond. The only one place where we find a direct response from God is in John Chapter 9:2&3 "His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God . But he will REALLY miss you if you take your life and he doesnt get to grow up with his father around. I also started doing the same thing at home when I was triggered, got a plastic baseball bat, focused on who I was angry at and beat the crap out of a pillow, I would even do the same thing with a sledgehammer outside pounding on rocks. Hopefully, my eye heals quickly. You need to get better so you can be there for your son. You like it because you believe you deserve it. He takes pleasure in inflicting pain on those he believes deserve it, like his enemies, but he . Until then, shine bright for the Lord and smile through your suffering, understanding that this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Cor. I can understand not wanting to go to the ED. I don't want him to grow up without me. It is not necessarily accurate for all. He's right about that. I have an 11-year-old son (not my boyfriends son, from my previous marriage). Its a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them. The other thing I can think of is, if you have a crisis center, they should be able to give you recourses to help you. I can't function, I'm on meds, go to therapy twice a week. It's a constant battle against this horrible disease. A few things I can say. Simply comment your favorite recipe under my videos along with your business/social media information, and check back to see if I make your favorite meal! And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved. I don't even know yet if it will work or not but I'm trying & hoping. It's not a hospital, more like a rehab center. The Sight of Our Imperfections Should Not Take Away Our Peace, Book Review: The Walking Wounded: The Path from Brokenness to Wholeness. I was on it for 13 years until a year and a half ago. Considering it's basically wellbutrin and cough syrup (and I've done wellbutrin), I'd love to hear how different it is. Have you done any physical/emotional therapy like Somatic therapy? I know I have to go to work, just put my head down and go. Glad that the three of us can all share stories of Gods grace. Were talking about the inner belief that you have not earned the right to be free from pain and hurt. Sometimes it's better to move psychiatrist even though it might not be as easy especially if you already have someone you been seeing for a while and like them. You are entitled to happiness; you are worthy of joy; you deserve to experience many moments of bliss. Same here. I have no idea what to do with my suicidal pain and my meds. The first time was when I was diagnosed with it, but the other 4 times was because I wasn't coping well with it (I'm still not honestly). Have you ever convinced yourself that you deserve to have bad things happen to you? Tell them that God promises that when (not if) we walk through the fire He walks with us and will keep us from being consumed. Here is a copy of a sample report. In that sense, the answer is nothing.. I knew differently even then. KE is owned and operated by Kraisthava Ezhuthupura Ministries Intl. Marshall B. Rosenberg. Pain does happen it may be a benign consequence of chance, the result of our own choices, or down to the actions (malevolent or otherwise) of third parties. Statistically, I should have died. It's hard to just end it when you have a kid, but I have thought about running away. In addition to that, I am working on a PhD in systematic and spiritual theology. Some would say medicine and science saved me but when you fall over two hundred feet to solid rock man and medicine can do nothing for you. I can't do anything either. If it means a residential treatment program then it seems you have nothing to lose. Was it the real Genesight or one of the others out there? Where was my mistake? The views expresses here are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Kraisthava Ezhuthupura. Is she understanding of what would help you as well as what she needs from you? Really? I know you have amazing love for your family. The wellbutrin isn't the part that makes the difference. She does everything, I helped out more years ago when I felt better, but the last few years have been really bad. Put it all together a fall no one knows how I survived, a hiker trained to handle severe trama medically, emergency personnel nearby and ready to move. She just might need to feel like you are really present, like she can count on you. I've tried and retried. I was also careful to direct the anger at my perpetrator and not at myself. I'm praying the improvement is real this time!Check out this video about it: youtu.be/ESvvAMWXuM4(Not working as expected?). We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device.We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development.An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. DBT is great for recognizing and learning how to deal with it. How do you say goodbye to a 12 year old? Sometimes drugs just don't work. the tree just exploded. It too easily leads to the assumption that if only your theology was more biblical, you would not have these gnawing questions. Tell them that we live in a world that is broken and marred by sin and that sometimes we get knocked down by the evil in it; and sometimes we get knocked down hard. For the Christian, divine retribution was fully meted out at the cross. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. In other words, hes saying, be happy because youre lucky and special to have been chosen and given this opportunity to encounter these pains and suffering in your lifetime. Change). It will kill him, ruin his life. Now my life is like a piece of furniture and not worth living. Kraisthava Ezhuthupura - Reaching Through Media, : | . I was relatively stable. How much energy is lost in sperm. I did Genesight test. What is wrong with a man that shows no affection. I just keep getting worse and worse. I am getting worse by the hour. Sorry you are still suffering and feel like you're not making any progress. Cold turkey, patches, gums, acupuncture, lasers if you can name it, I have tried it, and I can tell you why it didn't work for me. I know she's thinking of leaving me and taking my son with her. TikTok video from rudy (@trailerrtrash): "i am so so sorry pinkfleshh, i was crying writing this. What did I do to deserve all of this pain? When we do that, when we see ourselves as that helpless, our mind has to conclude that there must be something seriously wrong with us. One of the things I read a number of years ago was that depression could be caused by repressed anger and that when patients started getting in touch with their anger and rage, venting it and processing it, their depression and over all mood improved. Those who struggle with these questions are in the company of the finest saints in Scripture! I felt his hands cradle my body and his love again healed me. Your wife needs you too. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Lexapro used to work for me years ago also. 5 minutes later the house was gone. Another time at the crisis center, as I was talking about the trauma, I had to stop because it looked like the person that was supposed to be helping me, needed help herself after she was done with me. As I type this sentence, my eye is still swollen and turning purple. At times of adversity and pain, even the strongest among us have asked the question Why, Lord?! I am not in the position to call it anything. I promise I'll listen I promise not to judge you I promise Please I want to make things right Only if you let me But if you don't I'll walk the earth forever and ever Add to Collection . For me why did he do this to me? The tenants who lived on the first floor of our three story house had plugged everything in their living room to a single extension cordChristmas tree, window lights, TV, stereoand ran the cord under the living room rug. Genocide, rape, murder, torture, tyrants, dementia, drugs, slavery, people having rights stripped away, wasting away to chronic illness . :) I open your letters \u0026 packages on camera! That's my experience and that don't mean a thing. You are so right. What would you call it? why do i deserve the pain i get why do i get the tail end of things i dont understand wht i ever did wrong i dont understand why im being put thru all this pain no one cares no one loves do i realy deserve this i give my hear. Thats not something you can find every day so you really, really need to stick around. Why? God has a plan for us. First up no shoulds which bring more pain. They're helpful with a lot of stuff, but not so much mental health, or at least in my experience. To not live in the same house with him would devastate me. Online therapy is actually a good option for many people. I cant take it anymore, I'm so tired. he does need you to get better. You must go to Florida,asure your son you will be coming back & maybe they will allow him to visit you while you are in treatment. And then he just randomly broke up with me over text. Whatever it takes to stay alive and have some moments of feeling okay! I promised him I'm never going to leave him, but honestly, I don't know if I can keep that promise. With my depression, I just can't do it. If it wasn't for my son and wife I'd probably be dead. I got some good advice from a coworker one time, he told me something along the lines of "You can't help other people until you help yourself first, because you can't help them as effectively if you're down." Depression. Im sorry its so hard. I want to live and raise my son but I'm in too much pain. I would then use google to search for that kind of therapist in my area and check out their website or profile on sites like psychologytoday.com. And what did he do to deserve such pain and suffering. It gives your doctor an idea what would help you! I went to the movies, concerts, involved in politics, read voraciously. Did acupuncture a long time ago, Didnt do much. I started paying attention to how a felt especially when I felt upset or triggered or tense and noticing if I was angry. Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. The conviction that a child of God has is not hopeless, its an assurance that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (Rom 8:18). Just a small part. Hi Josh! You could have said anything along these lines: You didn't do anything except be yourself. It explained why no antidepressants ever worked for myself. Your right, I really need to go away. I'm very hopeful. | Pr. go to the ER if that is where you need to be. Did the Holy Spirit convict you . You deserve to get better. I dont expect my boyfriend to work an 8-5 job and be normal. Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. You've probably tried all kinds of meds, but they are also constantly finding new ones or new ways to dose, so don't give up. Talking to someone can really help you to address and fix this issue. You have tried and are still trying so much. I need to figure out how not to leave my son. I see where you have done some different types of therapy, did you suffer a traumatic childhood and are you suffering from trauma/c-ptsd? The Psalmist in Chapter 42:5 cries within and comforts himself through the pain saying, Why, my soul, are you downcast? Thanks. You'll see this most often if you ask him if he likes the clothes you're wearing or if he likes your haircut. I don't want some random person from the internet. But from a pastoral perspective, I find this response frankly wretched. Of course, plenty of people answer with more in-depth, often insensitive answers. He says he can't be without his daddy, and hearing that must tear you apart, but if you go to this center at least it will only be temporary whereas if you don't go(whether it's there or somewhere else), there's a chance you may not be around at all if you don't get help. We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. It's the dextromethorphan it's mixed with. . It's called FHEHeath in Florida. Or should I say that I am the one who may be gone, from your heart? (LogOut/ Just didn't agree with me. But there's so much pain, I'm so paralyzed. Or not? I'm 15 and we were together for 2 years. fire). You loved me. I realized I had repressed my anger for years because I was punished and shamed for trying to express even normal healthy anger so I was also in denial about it. I'm ready to check myself in if they take insurance. Ribi Kenneth, UAE, Article: THE TRUE POINT OF LIFE! I've been on every med there is, hospitalized, ECT, TMS and ketamine. Nothing I did deserved His protection. Married but completely alone. I feel like a piece of furniture. From the doctors and those who responded knowing what to do to save my life. I've also been hospitalized. I care about you and your family. But Apostle Paul takes it one step further and challenges us Christians to not be content with just that knowledge, but to respond to our suffering with rejoicing knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because Gods love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us (Rom 5:3-5). Habakkuk? We all know there is not an easy fix, but I also believe that you will not always feel as bad as you do right now. In fact, as long as you maintain the belief that this pain is somehow right, you are likely to overlook any meaning that might be gained. You are in thought and prayers. In the middle of the attack, the leader suddenly called everyone off once he realized I was not who he thought I was. God didnt single me out to be punished the day of my beating and violent gang rape. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Wondering what did I do so wrong To deserve this I feel like I am worthless Every time I speak . No one is in a position to have an expectation of good. We have done everything to deserve punishment for our sins, and have done nothing to deserve the reward of good.. Sound advice from a pastor who has experienced pain and suffering. , .. : 15 , .. . , : | . I saw my doctor today and asked to try Auvelity myself. Really? Please forgive me. But I'm stuck in it bc I love my son more than life itself. He always says I don't want to be without my dad. :)Each month, I publish a recipe mukbang, inspired by one of my viewers! In fact, the right truth at the wrong time can do just as much harm as telling untruth anytime (you think about that)! Im not sure how to find that anger and let it out. And I echo our friend Michelle, God set His eyes on you And once His Eyes of Grace are fixed, salvation always follows. They used to workuntil they stopped working. Because it's the suppression of our emotions including anger that cause our depression and anxiety. We have done everything to deserve . Some types of therapy help us intellectually but we also need to process and feel our deep emotional pain in order to heal. I hate these stupid societal rules about monogamy. do i deserve this should i stand up and fight what is the purpose did i do something wrong? 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